After stubborn years of wishing I could be more crafty, while not lifting much of a finger to attempt progress towards this goal, I finally inched my way off the start line. I've taken the modern approach to the ancient craft. I went online.
After deciding I could probably handle making a grocery tote bag I saw on a website without damaging any household items in rage and frustration, I packed up the kiddos and went to a fabric store. I had a list of items I needed to buy.... and an embarrassing lack of knowledge. I had to ask the ladies at the store - "Um, what is a triple stitch?" "Um, do I have to have a bobbin?" "Um, can you somehow show me how to thread the needle on the machine while the two screaming monkeys in my shopping cart fight over a container of quarters?" (The quarters are earned by Big A. pooping on the toilet by himself and cleaning up his toys when asked. He was about to spend his whopping $1.50 on a treat of some sort. Little A. thought this was a crappy deal. She poops every day! Where are her stinking quarters?!)
Anyways.... I left the store all sweaty (again - the two screaming monkeys) and with an assortment of sewing stuff and some cheap, thick fabric. After all, I don't want to waste expensive fabric if it turns out that this is another one of my many passing enthusiasms that end in failure. (for those who know me well --- I'm referring to the homemade paper, baby blanket, and flower starts among other things.)
A few hours later, with breaks for diapers, toilet trips, dinner, bedtime stories, and pajamas....
A Miracle happened: