Monday, July 21, 2008

Baby Fat

After watching my first episode of "How To Look Good Naked," I started to think about how most women I know have a hate/hate relationship with their own bodies. We try to camouflage, hide, cover-up, and just plain bad-mouth our own bodies on a regular basis. Sometimes we use humor to laugh off our true feelings about our "thunder thighs, Budah Bellies, Baby Fat, Junk in the Trunk, and Muffin Tops..."
Although I definitely fall in this category, I wish I could remind all of us how silly this all is. How many minutes of each day do I spend in small acts of mirror-dodging and self consciousness? How often do I think to myself, "I'll go buy some new clothes as soon as I lose these last million baby pounds..." ?
What strikes me as the most ridiculous is how I can recognize the beauty in everyone else but can never return the favor to myself.
As a mom, I have been enamored with the chubby little thighs and white bubble butt of my baby girl. To me, she is strikingly beautiful. She is an angel, a wood sprite, a sassy little diva. And even though I'm biased as her mom, I've been told by others that they agree with my assessments. She is a knock-out: fat and all. She is gorgeous because of her spirit, her smile, and her endless possibilities.

Where along the line do we all start to feel like less than the fantastic beauties our mothers think we are?

The Dove ads below are simple reminders of a message we have all heard so many times that it has become a cliche - Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Who are we to think we aren't the pretty little packages God made us? Who are we to say that just because we might not all look like a covergirl, we are not attractive?
I know that having a baby girl is a huge responsibility in so many ways. One of the many lessons I must teach my daughter is to love the person she is, see herself as God and her mommy and daddy see her, and view the world as one big cat walk - EVERYONE is gorgeous if you look at them the right way.


Images found at the Dove Website: HERE

107 comments:

Kristen said...

Hey SITSta! How true it is. I have been walking around like a frump waiting until I lose those extra pounds before buying new clothes. And I must admit...today I am having a fat day. When just two days ago I was rocking it. *sigh*

Robbie S.Redmon, LPC said...

We really are beautiful beings! Great post.

WhiteSockGirl said...

What strikes me as the most ridiculous is how I can recognize the beauty in everyone else but can never return the favor to myself.Very true,.. I sometimes would avoid the mirror for days when I feel 'fat',...

WhiteSockGirl said...

My daughter heard beauty that no one else heard in the music of oyster shells.The three posts I have read thus far are so beautiful and sweet,.. it just wanna make go 'AWWWWW',.. really.

This one is no different,... what a beautiful read...

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

You bring up a good point about having a responsibility when raising a daughter. I have two sons and think I have just as much responsibility to help them see beauty in everyone, not just what the media tells them is beautiful.

Rbarakat said...

Preach it sitsta!

Whispering Writer said...

It's so sad and so true that we pick apart every little part of ourselves. I have two baby girls and I love their little rolls, but until reading this I never really thought about the irony of loving every chubby bit of them while attacking myself on this front. Thank you for sharing this with us.

~ Becky
http://beckyandjames.com

Cairo Typ0 said...

what a great message. :)

Hillori said...

Today of all days, that is just what I needed to hear! Thank-you...

Elizabeth said...

You totally hit the nail on the head. That show was a bit of a wake-up call for me, but kind of in a different direction. That if I wasn't pleased with what I saw in the mirror, that I needed to do something about it. I cut off my hair and started styling more than once every three months, and I joined the local Y. I will probably always struggle with my weight, but knowing that I'm taking action makes me feel a lot better about myself.

PS - Happy SITS featured blog day!

Tammy Howard said...

Huge fan of Dove's campaign for real beauty. Huge fan of the HAES (healthy at every size) movement. Huge fan of Fat Acceptance.

Fans of all of these things - working hard on practicing what I preach. That part is harder.

Cassie said...

That's very inspiring. thank you.

cat said...

Oh wow, once again you're so right. I keep complaining about my twin skin. For what, I ask you?

Belle (from Life of a...) said...

Great post and so true. Congrats on your SITS Day!

meandtheblueskies.com said...

It's not just women but men too. I have this love/hate thing going on with my body. It's a hard thing to fight.
And happy SITS day!

Robin said...

I think Little A is very lucky to have you as her mom. :-)

countryfriedmama said...

You are so right. I try to keep this in mind for the sake of my daughters. I don't want to be the one to teach them that we have to be Barbie dolls to be beautiful.

Jennifer Juniper said...

I love it! Thank you for reminding us all that we are beautiful just the way we are. I'm not sure if I believe it yet, but I'm trying.

Happy sits :)

delilah said...

I just blogged about the same thing on Saturday. It's a tough world out there for the post-baby body. Thanks for posting the Dove ads-- they are refreshing.

Happy SITS day!

Creative Junkie said...

I so needed to read this! Totally true and I can so relate ... I'm trying to teach my daughters that beauty comes from within and being healthy is so much more important than being thin or looking like a cover model.

And yet, I can't stand to look at myself! I can look at so many women who are heavy and think how nice they look and yet, I cannot apply that same thought to me.

Pam said...

I think you are so right that we are much more forgiving of others than we are of our selves.

Rachel said...

I love those ads. It is difficult to remember sometimes that it's about health and fitness and not how I look in a bikini. Thanks for the reminder.

Cher said...

another good post!

Janna Bee said...

Amen! I wonder why I do this to myself also!

Lula! said...

This is brilliant...and such a wonderful reminder. You've made me feel like a "Covergirl" today.

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

So true!! It is so easy to compliment others and notice little special things about them, but I NEVER do it for myself. :( Great post!

Sara said...

This is a good reminder for everyone, I think. And chubby baby thighs are part of my reason for living. :)

Stopped by from SITS. Enjoy your day!

Michelle said...

You are so right. How is it that we can see the beauty in other women, no matter how big they are, but we see our own flaws as just bad. even despite the fact that God created us in his image. Beautiful. Perfect. Whole.

Joy said...

Another post that is timely and well-written! Congrats again on your SITS day!

Ashley said...

HAPPY SITS DAY!
I love those ads, they're so inspirational and uplifting, because they ARE beauty.
Have a great one!

Connie Weiss said...

I love those Dove Ads and I wish more of the magazines would adopt this attitude.

I'm more and more aware of what an example I am for my daughter and want to do everything I can to teach her good habits!

Have a great SITS day!

maidenshade said...

Congrats on your distinction, Sistah!

Loved this post - oh I could just bite that baby!

Have a great week,

xJ
MaidenShade.wordpress.com
MaidenShade.com

Brandy said...

Now if I could just remember this when I look in the mirror. Funny thing is that my husband loves me the way I am, but I'm just not loving myself right now.

Thanks for the reminder!

Laura said...

My baby is 13 & I still have the baby fat...oh well, I'm kind of getting used to it now.

Anita said...

Dropping by from SITS! I love this post. I've got huge self image issues. I know I'm large, I do my hair, put on makeup, dress ok, but I know there are people who see me and just wonder, why is she so fat, why doesn't she take better care of herself..........it hurts.

Cammie said...

Another cool post....I have issues with this myself and could use a reminder every now and then!

piecemeal people said...

As a custodial stepmom to two girls, I feel a lot of pressure to send the right message and avoid sending the wrong one. I don't keep gossip or fashion magazines in the house. I don't talk or complain about my own body or weight in front of them. We don't use the word "fat" in our house. I doubt it'll be enough to compete with all the other forces out there, but I hope it helps some.

Happy SITS Day!

Cindy said...

Wow, how I totally agree with you. I have been beating myself up all weekend because it is almost bathing suit season, and I am in no shape to put one one. I just need to take a breath, be thankful for what God has blessed me with, and be happy.

Coming over from SITS...happy SITS day!

Laura said...

i am kind of glad i am having a son for just this reason! it really is too bad that we forget what real beauty is sometimes.

Cynthia at A Shimmy in My Spirit said...

Great post. When I start giving my body a hard time, I dance around my kitchen and living room. I always like my body best when I dance.

koopermom said...

What a great post. I am always so hard on myself.

Tonya said...

I totally agree. We all are way too hard on ourselves at times!

Marshmallow Circus said...

Love this post! I want my girls to have a great body image. :)

Jenna Lewis Cox said...

such a beautiful post and reminder to us all!

Industrioushead said...

Great post! The media and society has a large part in how we think of ourselves; giving us the false impression that we have to be a certain way and look a certain way in order to be likable etc. Material value is expressed and not virtues, like those you expressed in the "Warrior" post.

Christina said...

Happy Sits Day! This message is reaching me at a low point today. Thanks for such an uplifting message.

Jadehollow said...

Amen! So True!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Have you seen the Monday posts "beautiful like me?" Stiletto Mom hosts it I beleive. My friend Tricia from Shout participates. But it is a weekly post theme of girls and body image - self esteem.

Wonderful post again. I hve enjoyed your SITS day. Have fun with all the comment love coming your way ; -)

Amy said...

It is hard but we all have to be a little bit happy with our bodies. Right?

Rachel said...

Again, very well said!

I think I had a revelation about my body recently. I better get to liking it because I wasn't getting a new one!

Rebecca said...

Happy SITS day!

You have such a way with words - a great post...I always look at babies and think "Enjoy your cute chubbiness now, b/c it's the only time it's cute." Such a shame...

Lisa said...

You are so right!! We should all appreiciate our bodies, flaws and all!!

Amy said...

We are all our own worst critics, that is for sure!

StacieinAtlanta said...

Another great post! Happy SITS Day!

Stacie
http://www.thedivinemissmommy.com

Lissa K said...

this is probably one of the best blog posts I have ever read! I wonder how I can make myself remember this every single day? This actually made me cry, because I don't see myself this way.
Thank you for this post.
(Came to visit from SITS- and I am so very glad I did.)

Little Miss Baker said...

Oh the body wars!! So true! we should all just love ourselves flaws and all because lets face it, we are not perfect and it's better that way :)

Becky said...

Does this mean I can stop doing my "30 day shred"???? J/K you make a great point.

shortmama said...

So great to have that reminder!

Reluctant Housewife said...

When I hear 'baby fat' of round little chubby cheeks and dimply knees that babies have - adorable.

Rachel said...

Well said.

Jessica said...

Right on - I wonder the same thing. No one will every say at my funeral, "Gee, if only she'd lost that 20lbs I would have loved her more." And I certainly don't judge my friends and loved ones if they have extra padding. I still find my husband irresistible with his little pooch, so why wouldn't he return the favor?

It's exhausting, isn't it?? I love your shrinking momma counter on the bottom of your blog, too. It's a good way to track progress and stay motivated to get healthy :)

imogenci said...

I used to be the Queen of camouflaging and bad-mouthing...

But I've come to realise what you say is true. Our body is a temple and we're all gorgeous if we look at ourselves the right way...

Just trying to remember it ;)

Kristi said...

I think it is extremely hard as parents to redefine for our kids what makes a person beautiful, valuable, special. God's definitions of all those things are so amazing, but are often drowned out by the shouting from our culture to be sexy, appealing, and popular.

Composing Hallelujahs said...

amen sitsta!

i have three girls, so this stuff is always on my mind whenever i think of commenting on myself negatively.

Lani said...

Ever since I had my daughter I have been trying to get this message though my head.. I so don't want her growing up with the mentality that I have had about my body... I'm working on it:)

Mrs. S said...

I LOVE Dove ads (I do wish they showed more cellulite - I know even those skinny girls have it). :)

I am constantly amazed at how we diminish ourselves as women due to having a muffin top or a fat face or bingo wings etc etc etc. It's so hard to feel deserving of love when you look at yourself like that.

I try so hard to see what my husband, my God, and my son see in me. I'll admit, though, as much as the Scriptures tell me I'm beautiful, nothing makes me feel more beautiful than when my son rubs my arms, my back, my tummy - the very body parts that I hate. That makes me feel so beautiful and loved!

Days of Whine & Noses said...

As much as I agree, I will never embrace my cellulite :(

Visting from SITS!

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

Once again, you hit the nail right on the head. I fit right in w/all those women who dis ourselves for the way we look instead of looking on the heart as God does. Enjoy your day in the SITS spotlight.

Marrdy said...

Your words are true. Why do we do this? And better yet, how do we get over it?

K said...

It's a beautiful post.

We should all accept ourselves a little more.

lynn said...

Great post. We are always the hardest on ourselves aren't we?

Mandy said...

This is so true. :)

Mandy Mae said...

It's funny, before I gave birth to my son, I told everyone who would listen that I didn't care about the stretch marks or the extra weight...that they were my outpost to the world that I had carried a child into it. How quickly things change.

This post reminded me of those thoughts, 18 months ago before I had him. Maybe I'll adopt that mantra again.

Thanks for a great message!

Vickie said...

Everyone is beautiful:0 Another great post!

for the love of pictures said...

Wonderful post filled with a wonderful message :) Congratulations on your SITS Day!

Jenkins said...

If only, we live with if onlys. If only I was pretty, If only I was skinny, if only I had this, if only I had that.
We need to happy with who we are and what we have. It could be one of the best messages to pass on to our children.
love the post.

the future mrs. smith said...

i'm a firm believer that we are always harder on our own bodies than other people are - i think i have flabby arms, some have told me they'd love to have my arms. if we could all learn to be more comfortable in our own skin like you advise, we'd be a lot happier.

Bar-b said...

perfect blog entry for the day that I have had. Thanks for writing. Happy Sits day sitser ;)

Mama Kat said...

It's so true. I hate how we become so self conscious as we grow up. The constant comparisons to some unattainable goal...it's ridiculous.

Mighty M said...

We are hardest on ourselves, very true. I try hard to be very positive about myself and say things I may or may not feel "my hair looks great today", or "I am beautiful", because I am trying to raise my children, especially my daughter to really love themselves.

foxy said...

LOVE this post. Beautifully written. :)

Happy day to you, SITSta!

{leah} said...

Thank you for the great post/reminder.

Happy SITS day!

MommyAmy said...

Love this! As a mom to 2 daughters I need all the reminders of this I can get! SO important to instill that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Especially true when I have twin daughters that look nothing alike yet will undoubtedly be compared by some people.

{Katie Lane} said...

Well said very well said.

Jen said...

you are so right now with this post! I love the whole dove thing it is just so beautiful.

BlogBaby said...

I think we point out our own flaws to avoid having others point them out for us. Seems like the easier option, I guess. Thanks for the refocus on what really matters - how God sees us.

BlogBaby's BabyMama

Michelle said...

Oh what a beautiful message... and so very true. And the solution of just avoiding mirrors. That's really not much of a solution at all!

Kristin said...

congrats on being queen SITSa today! you are so right on here, especially with raising our daughters- I have 3 of them, and am thinking about stuff like this all the time.

Allison D said...

it is also funny to look at what was attractive historically. skinny hasn't been "in" for very long

Mommy2JL said...

I hear ya.
And as easy it is to remember that I am beautiful and love my body on some days, it's just as easy to forget it on others.

nic @ http://blog.singlemominthecity.ca

Suzi said...

Well said!

AP said...

so funny how I see everyone else as beautiful even with "flab" but feel so not pretty myself with my post baby muffin top
great post
happy sits day

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

Thanks for that post. That is just what I needed. I am at my heaviest non-pregnant weight and I just found out that I'm in Kirstie Allie territory. I think if I can just get to the point of finding myself beautiful, maybe others will too and then I could let go of some of this extra baggage.

Jodi said...

Great post. As a mom of 2 girls, I am always reminding them how beautiful they are. We bring such bad body images onto ourselves, and I don't want them to follow in that path. I love it when I tell my 7 year old she's beautiful, and she smiles back at me and say, "I know" not in a vain way, but just "I know" like she's never felt any other way but beautiful.

Enjoying your blog SITSta:)

Stop by and see me over at my Green Acres blog sometime:)

Jessica said...

We all need to be reminded we are beautiful now and then!

Ali said...

I bet those Dove ladies are sucking in:)

Just kidding (well, not really) but I see your point!

Tanielle said...

Gorgeous! Thanks I really needed to hear that!

mommytoalot said...

That was a fantastic post. So true. Well written.

Zeemaid said...

great post. if there is one thing I can instill in my girls is that they are beautiful inside and out and as I've told them.. God, makes us in all shapes and sizes and how beautiful is that!

:)

Tamara Jansen said...

Once again, well put :)

Stacia said...

Beautifully written. I read, I understood...and I feel better already. Thanks for the words.

Controlling My Chaos said...

Ugh. This is me.

Fresh Mommy said...

So beautiful!! Thanks for the great reminder!

:)
~Tabitha~

freshmommyblog.com

Kimberly said...

Always good to hear I'm not alone :)

Rachael said...

Great post! I am losing weight, but mostly for health reasons. I will always have big hips and small breasts and probably a little belly. But I will be beautiful because I'll be happy & healthy!

Charmaine @ randalswife said...

Great post and great reminder! I've been meaning to get a hold of those "Look good naked" shows. I think you've re-inspired me to go go and try and find them.

Dianna said...

thanks for the reminder! Happy SITS day!